This is a perfect example of how we can help make the funeral service a tribute to someone’s life – unique in their own way. We enjoy working with each and every one of our families and strive to bring this touch of individuality to all.

Rick and Julie Murphy, host parents of Berit Klueker from Germany

Oakcrest’s Rick Murphy and his wife Julie are looking forward to a special holiday this year. They are host parents to 15 year old Berit Klueker from Germany. Berit’s home town in northern Germany has many similarities to Algona and she often helps her dad and brother on their family farm. Berit is a sophomore at Algona High School.

Berit is the 4^th student that Rick and Julie have had the pleasure of hosting, with the other students being from Albania, Kosovo and Austria.

At holiday time, many people are dealing with loss and are often caught in a dilemma between the need to grieve and the pressure to get into the spirit of the season. The sights, sounds and smells of the season are supposed to inspire warmth, love, joy, gratitude and hope. But it can feel as cold as snow in your heart if a loved one has just died and the heightened holiday expectations may only intensify the pain you are feeling. Holidays or not, it is important for the bereaved to find ways to take care of themselves. The following guidelines may be helpful:

• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The National Funeral Directors Association suggests affirmations such as, “In spite of loss, I will try to enjoy this season.”

• Select a candle in your loved one’s favorite color and scent. Place it in a special area of your home and light it at a significant time throughout the holidays, signifying the light of the love that lives on in your heart.

• Give yourself permission to express your feelings. If you feel an urge to cry, let the tears flow. Tears are healing. Scientists have found that certain brain chemicals in our tears are natural pain relievers.

• Shakespeare once said, “Give sorrow words…” Write an “un-sent letter” to your loved one. expressing what you are honestly feeling toward him or her at this moment. After you compose the letter, you may decide to place it in a book, album or drawer in your home, leave it at a memorial site, throw it away, or even burn it and let the ashes rise symbolically.

• When you are especially missing your loved one, call family members or dear friends and share your feelings. If they knew him or her, consider asking them to share some memories of times they shared with your loved one.

• If you live within driving distance of the cemetery, decorate the memorial site with a holiday theme. This could include flowers, garlands, ribbons, bows, evergreen-branches, packages, pinecones or a miniature Christmas tree. Decorating the site yourself can be helpful in remembering and celebrating your loved one’s life during the holidays, and may free you to cherish the present holiday with your remaining family.

• Play music that is comforting and meaningful to you. Take a few moments to close your eyes and feel the music within the center of your being.

• Give money you would have spent for gifts for your absent loved one to a charity in your family member’s name. Consider donating money to the public library to buy a particular book. Have the book dedicated to your loved one’s memory. Buy a present for a child who would not otherwise have a gift during the holiday season.

• Read a book or article on grief. Visit or call Oakcrest Funeral Services to receive your free copy of “Renewing Your Spirit” for advice on how to cope with grief, especially during the holidays.

• Remember the reality that the anticipation of the holidays without your family member is often harder than the actual holidays themselves.

Supporting Those Who Mourn During the Holidays:

• Let them grieve. Communicate. Listen. Encourage them to talk about their feelings.

• Make contact statements that are true for you.
 Example: “I’ve been thinking about you. I don’t know what to say. I can imagine that the holidays are pretty charged this year.” Now, just listen.

• Your job is neither to be the fix-it person, nor be clever. Lay down that burden. Just be you. When you are fumbling for what to do, say it! e.g. ‘I’m fumbling for what to say. I wish I were good with words.’

• Listen to your instinct. Trust it. When the time seems right, say something like: “I find myself wondering if there is something I can do for you during this time? An errand to run? A time to share a cup of coffee? Maybe we can just be together, without agenda? A walk through the park, or in nature, where we are away from the entire hustle bustle? I’m open to what seems right.” Listen.

• When you think of this person, call them! Even if you have only a few moments, that’s O.K… You can even say: “I’ve only got a moment, but I was thinking about you just now and wanted you to know I’m here if you need anything.”

• Evenings can be especially tough since the noise of the day subsides. It’s a great time for check in, just to give the message, ‘you are in my heart.’ Use your own words. You cannot fail.

• Remember, your job is not to take away the loss. Your job is to be you, be real, and be a fair witness to one of the most difficult times in your loved one’s life. One of the most supporting factors in growing forward through grief is reconnecting with life without feeling pushed.

Adapted from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-cara-barker/holiday-grieving-how-to-b_b_789813.html and “Ten Ways to Cope with Holiday Grief” By L. B. Schultz, Carmel, Indiana. For more information about coping with the holidays, bereavement support services please contact Oakcrest Funeral Services at 515-295-3731.

Honor a loved one this holiday season. Surprise Mom, Grandma, Sister or Friend with a beautiful memorial necklace, bracelet, key chain, ornament and more available to you from Oakcrest Funeral Services. Now through Christmas enjoy 15% off.

We will help you design a perfect piece to honor loved ones past and present. Order soon for holiday delivery. Call today! 515-295-3731

November 25, 1961

Congratulations to Mike and Karen Schaaf as they celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary today. This special couple helped build the Oakcrest Funeral Services business from the start with a heart felt passion to help others in need during a difficult time. Mike and Karen will celebrate this weekend with their 4 kids and 7 grandchildren in Des Moines. Happy 50th Anniversary, Mike and Karen!

To read the full article, click here

Reg Roberts, Lion of the Year

Congrats to Reg Roberts, who was recently awarded the 2011 “Lion of the Year” by the Algona Lions Club. For 11 years, Reg has been active in many club projects, including Pies for Eyes and the Lenten Fish Sale. Reg also served as the Lions Club president. Way to go, Reg – you have made a wonderful difference to our community!

We’ d like to encourage everyone to join the “I Will” 9/11 Tribute Movement. You simply pledge to voluntarily spend time helping and being kind to others in tribute of the 9/11 victims and heroes. “I will not forget. I will remember. I will let my tribute proclaim to the world that we remember by doing.” That’s all there is to it. It’s entirely up to you. Volunteering, donating to charities, and performing any other kind of good deed counts. It can take a day, an hour or one beautiful moment. Simply pick something that’s important to you. All that matters is that it’s from your heart, and it’s something you feel you can and want to do. Here are some examples:

• I will volunteer at an animal shelter
• I will spend the day with my children, wherever they want
• I will donate a day’s salary to the children of 9/11 victims
• I will help a friend

Where were you on September 11th? Please share your memory here on the blog or visit us on Facebook and let us know how YOU will pay tribute this year.